Review of Small Gods, episode 1

After listening to Episode 1 a couple of times... here are my thoughts.

The changes - oh the unneccessary changes - or.... were they unneccessary? Did this adaptor, Robin Brooks, have some motive in my mind? In other words, why did he change what he did?

There is a lot of narrative in a Terry Pratchett novel. This narrative voice provides much of the humor. In this adaption, Anton Lesser does the narrating, and he's excellent at it. (I don't know that American actors will know who he is - or indeed anyone in this cast, except for those fortunate enough to have been theater goers and London tourists during the late 1990s, as I was. Visited London, and saw the play Richard II, starring Anton Lesser as Henry, and Alex Jennings as Richard II. And here they are almost 20 years later, in a radio play together, Lesser as Narrator, Jennings as the evil Vorbis.)

Anyway, Brutha is a novice monk in the Citadel. A teenager, he can neither read nor write, but he has an eidetic memory. He remembers everything he sees, and has done since the day he saw a bright white light and somebody hit him.

The Citadel, in the land of Omnia, is the home of the Quisition, which makes sure that the Great God Om is properly worshiped. Om, who normally appears in the form of a great Bull, had come to earth one day three years ago to do some smiting...and when he had metamorphosized found that he had the shape of a small, one-eyed tortoise instead.

An eagle, intending to crack open his shell and eat him, has lifted him up to a great height, and dropped him. But he lands in a garden which is being hoed by Brutha.

And, as will become apparent in this episode, only Brutha can hear Om, because only Brutha, of all the people in the Citadel,( and indeed the land of Om) really believes in him.

So, below is the first change that really set me off, because there was no reason for it:

Om is telling Brutha to go fetch a high priest. If he doesnt, "there will be a shaking of the earth, the moon will be as blood, agues and boils will afflict mankind and diverse ills will befall." This is where the radio version stops. Pratchett adds another sentence - which is absolutely hilarious. "I really mean it." It's perfect. It's hilarious. It would have taken another second or two to say. Why leave it out? Especuially considering the inflection Patrick Barlow could have given it.

Next, we get something more egregious.

Brutha hears the voice of Om, and runs to tell Brother Nhumrod, Master of the Novices about it.

In the book, Nhumrod says, "Sometimes, as He in His infinite wisom sees fit, the God speaks to chosen one and he becomes a great prophet. Now, I am sure you wouldn't presume to consider yourself one of them?"

Brooks version has it:
"Sometimes, as in His infinite wisdom sees fit, the God speaks to chosen one and he becomes a great prophet. Do you consider your voice to have been in that category, Brutha?"

Do you see the difference?

Pratchett is saying that in the Omnian religion, there are no real prophets. It's just the religious hierarchy who decides someone is going to be a prophet, and they choose that person.

Then Brooks has Nhumrod going on --- adding a couple of sentences that Nhumrod never said in the book, about nighttime manipulation, etc. (Brutha thinks this, Nhumrod never says it.]

Then, when Brutha brings Nhumrod to hear what Om has to say, Om calls Nhumrod a pederast. Nhumrod is not a pederast. Moreover, Pratchett never uses this word in the book. Pratchett's words are these: Sometimes demons and devils did put disquieting thoughts in his head, but he saw to it that they stayed there and he did not in any literal sense deserve to be called what the tortoise called him, which, in fact, if he had heard it, he would have thought was something to do with feet.

Again, why the change? Pratchett assures his readers that Nhumrod is not a pederast, and so why even mention it in the radio version? Why not have Om call him an "old fool" instead. Unless Brooks wants to make some kind of a point linking Omnian priests to Catholic priests... but it's simply unfair [The book itself is comparing Omnism to Catholocism, and other religions in general, but this particular point is not one that Pratchett makes].

A the end of the scene, Brooks has Nhumrod say another couple of sentences that are not in the book - a bit about cucumbers - another hint about Nhumrod's sexuality that simply does not exist in the book -- and therefore should not be introduced into this radio program. (Indeed, in the book Nhumrod' obsession is with melons - ie women's breasts, ie women...)

Then, things are really altered when Brutha and Om talk about religion. Brutha points out all the things that Om had done in the past, and Om points out that he never did any of that stuff.

In the book:

"He [Ossory] said that you spoke unto him from out of a pillar of flame."

"..."

"And you dictated to him the Book of Ossory, which contains the Directions, the Gateways, the Abjurations, and the Precepts. One hundred and ninety three chapters."

"I don't think I did all that...."

"What did you say to him, then?"

"As far as I can remember, it was, "Hey, see what I can do."

Hilarious and quite a smiting at religion, with its one man seeing the burning bush, or the this and the that, and everyone else believing what this one man has to say...[Why didn't God ever appear to two men, or even twelve? Why always just one?]

There's no reason at all why Pratchett's dialog here should be changed...yet Brooks changes it. Very annoying! And the vocal inflections of the actor playing Brutha...not quite right here. Should have been more bewildered... And Patrick's Om..a bit too annoyed too early.

Obviously, the point about the Omnian religion being created by men and not by Om himself has to be made, in less time than it takes to do in the book. (Although, if the adaptor hadn't written a couple of extra lines for Brother Nhumrod, there'd have been more time to say Pratchett's dialog here.

Then there's the fact that Brutha keeps calling Om a tor-toys, rather than a tortoise. Presumably this is to show vocally that Brutha isn't too bright and doesn't know how to pronounce words properly?

But Brutha can't read - so the only way he would know how to pronounce the word is to do it the way other people do it. So just who is it there who calls tortoises a tor-toys?

Voicework
Overall the voicework is excellent. Just a couple of niggles during the argument scene...
Alex Jennings in particular as the cold Vorbis is excellent. Anton Lesser does a good job as the narrator.
A lot of Pratchett's dialog is left as is, which makes the unneccesary changes all the more annoying.

So... three more episodes to listen to. Three more chances to hear Robin Brooks interfere with perfection.

Small Gods

Well.... damn!

Why, why, why do adapters of books think that they can improve on perfect writing by changing the dialog. Sure, you might have to scrunch things together for time purposes... but to change the exposition that identifies characters, or the dialog between two characters...

I just started listening to Small Gods. I know the book by heart - it is my absolute favorite book of Pratchett's, and indeed my favorite book by any author, with incredible wit and deep feeling.

And there is no need, no logical reason, to take Pratchett's witty narrative and dialog and re-write it so that it is 100% less witty!

It is just ridiculous!

For example, Patrick as Om has just uttered a warning to Brutha of what will befall if Brutha doesnt' do as he asks. This, this and this will befall (various terrible things,) at at the end he says, "And I really mean it." That is a hilarious line! And it was cut out!

Well, I'll take a break and try to come to it in a few more hours with lowered expectations...

The voices are all good in saying what they've been given to say.... but the writing...oh, the writing....

Patrick Barlow in Van Gogh

Way back in 1990, Patrick wrote a script called Van Gogh...which apparently was shown as an episode of a program called Omnibus. Linus Roache played Van Gogh, Patrick also had a brief cameo as Dr. Peyron, about 1 hour 15 minutes into the DVD. Van Gogh has voluntarily entered an insane asylum run by Dr. Peyron.

In this brief scene, Van Gogh shows Peyron some of his paintings (which are actually some of his most famous paintings) and says he's feeling better. From Patrick's facial expressions we form the opinion that he doesn't really think Van Gogh is sane.

Patrick in A Bit of Fry and Laurie

Patrick appeared in episode 4 of Season 4 of A Bit of Fry and Laurie, in 1995.

I was extremely disappointed with it. Oh, he was good in what he did - problem is, he wasn't given anything to do!

Season 4 had a new format, where two guests were invited onto the program in an interview like setting. So Patrick is introduced, and says, "It's a pleasure to be here," and Steven Fry barks out, "Don't lie." and just puts him on the defensive...and I just don't find that kind of humor funny. And in any event after 3 seconds of it they cut to a sketch between Fry and Laurie.

Patrick and the other guest star, some woman, appear in one of the sketches. One! Patrick plays a blind flower seller who sells Hugh some flowers that bring out people's aggressions. He shows off his skill manipulating his eyes to simulate blindness... but other than that?

Then he and Laurie are sitting on the couch and once again there's a bit of aggressive humor, as Barlow is said to have played Fry in a previous sketch (and of course didn't) and Laurie puts him on the spot for it. Just not funny.

And at the end, Patrick and the woman are seated in formal dress at the piano, smiling, while Fry and Laurie do their schtick.

Complete waste of time! Why even be on the show?

Still, nice to see him... just before or just during the taping of the first series of Is It Legal, I'd wager.

Listen to Patrick Barlow's radio work

Patrick Barlow has done several radio serials:

The Messiah
The Greatest Story Ever Told
All the World's A Globe
The Patrick and Maureen Maybe Music Experience
The Arts and How They Was Done

and for some reason they aren't available commercially!

So we have no recourse but to depend on the kindness of strangers - in other words, other Patrick Barlow fans who live in the UK, record the material off the radio, and post it on their own blogs or sites so that other fans can listen to them.

So take a look at this blog.

http://theonlyspoon.blogspot.com/

Where you can listen to:

The Arts and How They Was Done
All The World's A Globe

The links are on the side of the page in silver boxes.

And --- you're in store for a treat, as Small Gods, starring Patrick Barlow as the Great God Om, will be broadcast on BBC7 starting on April 26.